Cheap Therapy
by spiffytgm
Summary: When Ranger is in the wind, Stephanie turns to her favorite therapist for comfort. Answer to the 5 plus 1 challenge on Facebook. Always a Babe!
1. Chapter 1

**Although this isn't a birthday story, I want to take a second to say Happy Birthday, Ranger! Now make a wish and blow on the... Nevermind... This story is an answer to the Facebook 5+1 challenge. Now that the FanFiction servers are back up and running (fingers crossed) it seemed like a good time to post it!**

 **The line in Bold is a different challenge prompt from Margaret's Babe and Plum Family Challenges. :-)**

 **All characters are property of JE, all mistakes are mine... I don't get anything other than the warm fuzzies from reading your reviews! :-)**

 **Day 1**

By the time I dragged myself home to my apartment, I was ready for a beer, a peanut butter and olive sandwich, and about twelve hours of sleep. I tapped on my hamster, Rex's cage while I opened the fridge. Rex came out of his soup can and twitched his little hamster nose at me, which I took as an invitation to talk. "Oh, Rex," I told him, "I'm so worried about Ranger. He's been in the wind for three months. He missed his last check in with Tank, and today he's officially overdue. I don't know what I'll do if anything happened to him."

In addition to being a great pet, Rex makes an excellent therapist. He listens to me without talking back, and the price is right. I gave him a grape as a 'thank you for listening' and drank my first beer of the night.

I thought back to the day I met Ranger. I had just blackmailed my cousin Vinnie into giving me a job, but I was way out of my league. Connie, the office manager, asked Ranger to mentor me. From the moment our eyes locked in the small diner on Hamilton, my life hasn't been the same. It's funny how you can know someone for a short period of time, yet still feel as if you've known them forever.

 **Day 2**

Once again I found myself tapping on Rex's cage while I grabbed myself a beer. This time I started talking as soon as his head cleared the soup can. "Still no word on Ranger, Rex. I know he's only two days late, but I miss him terribly. I was at the bonds office when Les and Bobby came in for the Rangeman files, and it drove home how different everything is when he's not here." I gave Rex a carrot today since I was out of grapes.

As I drank my beer, I hit play on my answering machine. As soon as I heard the voice on the machine, I rolled my eyes so far back in my head that they should have stuck that way. "Cupcake, don't you think it's been long enough?" Honestly, I broke up with Joe shortly after Ranger left. You would think that after three months he'd be over me, but he still kept calling. "Come on, the boys miss you. Why don't you come over? We'll watch the game and discuss whatever comes up." I wanted to gag. The sad part is the fact that a tired old line like that used to get my motor running, if you know what I mean. As far as the boys missing me, I'm the only single girl in a twenty mile radius that the boys have missed since we broke up. They seem to hit the target with everyone else. I hit the delete button before he could tell me that it would make my mother happy if we were seen together again. Ugh.

I remember how Lula had asked me about the breakup in her own subtle way. "Girl, Batman's gone in the wind and you telling me that you ain't gonna let Supercop keep you warm at night?"

We were sitting in Cluck in a Bucket having lunch so of course every head in the restaurant turned towards us, hoping to catch the latest gossip. I did a mental head slap. I wanted to stand up in the middle of the restaurant and announce, " ** _To all of those who talk behind my back, thank you for making me the center of your world_** ," but instead I stayed in my seat and said, "Lula, I love Joe but I'm not in love with him. I don't think it's fair to anyone to stay with him just so that I have something to do on a Friday night. Even if Ranger and I never get together, I owe it to myself to go for what I want. Since he's out of town, I can take some time for myself to figure out exactly what that is."

She looked at me like she wasn't buying it. I wasn't quite sure if I was buying it either, but time would tell.

 **Day 3**

I opened my fridge to find a bottle of ketchup and one leftover Easter egg. The beer was gone and I was out of olives. I tapped on Rex's cage again. He popped out of his can and I fed him some hamster crunchies. "I guess I'm going over to my mother's house for dinner tonight, Rex. If I'm lucky, she'll have some grapes, then I'll only have to stop at the liquor store on my way home." It was a depressing thought, but I wanted to pay my rent on time. "I wish Ranger was here. There's no cake in his apartment, but I'd get dinner lecture free."

There is a certain ritual to be observed when having dinner with my parents. The most important thing above all others is to be sitting at the table at 6:00. If you're not there on time, you've ruined dinner. If you get there too early, you may have to help in the kitchen. Since I don't want to hear about how Dottie Lubacheck's daughter got married to a nice man from the Burg, I will get there as close to six as possible. I'll still get the "Why me?" lecture, but I'll also get cake and leftovers.

 **Day 4**

Today I took a shower before I went to the kitchen, so I was drying my hair as I tapped on Rex's cage. "Sorry it took me so long to get here, Rex. Believe me, you did not want to be anywhere near that stench." Rex wandered over to his little hamster wheel so apparently I was forgiven. "I wish Ranger was here. I can imagine the hint of a smile I would get as he checked me over to make sure I wasn't injured. Maybe he would even make a rude comment about a shower before he left." I sighed as I pulled my leftover pot roast and a beer out of the fridge. "I miss him, Rex. I know four days overdue isn't that long, and my spidey sense says everything is fine, but I really want to see him. Maybe if he was at home, we'd be having dinner on seven instead of leftovers from mom's. Of course, I'd like to take it slow at first." I could almost imagine Rex sneering at me. "Hey, I could do it. Just because I've worn out five shower massagers in the last three months doesn't mean that I'm going to throw myself at him." If hamsters could laugh, Rex would probably be rolling by now. The problem with that is, he'd be right.

 **Day 5**

Since today was Sunday, I put Rex in his little plastic ball so that he could wander around the apartment while I cleaned his cage. After I was done, I grabbed a beer and sat down on the floor. When he rolled his ball into my leg, I imagined he was asking me how I was doing. "Oh, Rex, I'm a mess. I miss him so much that I washed my sheets and pillow cases with some of his body wash. I could almost imagine that he was sitting in his chair watching me sleep, but it wasn't the right combination of Bvlgari and Ranger." By now Rex had rolled away to explore some more, but I kept talking to him. "I broke down and called Tank yesterday. He told me not to worry until he was a month late. If he meant that to be reassuring, he failed miserably. If I'm this worried now, in a month I'll be a basket case."

I was interrupted from my talk by a knock on the door. I opened it to find my best friend Mary Lou smiling at me and holding a beach bag. "Come on, grumpy. Lenny and I are taking the boys to the beach. I promised the boys an extra five dollars each if they stayed with their father so that you and I could have some alone time."

I love Mary Lou and I appreciated the effort to cheer me up, but I didn't want to take her away from her family. "That's ok, ML. I don't want to intrude."

she brushed past me into the apartment and plopped herself down on my couch. "Forget it. I'm not leaving here until you've got a bikini on and are walking out the door with me. Everyone else is downstairs waiting, so I suggest you get a move on."

I sighed. "ML, I don't think I'm gonna be that much fun. Besides, I have to find Rex and put him back in his cage."

As soon as I said that, Rex rolled up and bumped into Mary Lou's foot. She looked down, smiled, and snatched his ball up. "You get dressed and I'll take care of Rex, that way we'll be done sooner." Before I could argue she said, "Don't make me release my flying monkeys."

I laughed at the Wizard of Oz reference, like she could actually be the wicked witch. I also knew that arguing with her was pointless, so I went and got ready for a day at the beach.

 **Day 6**

I got home from work and went straight to the kitchen. I tapped on Rex's cage while I opened the fridge. "Something big is going on today, Rex, I can feel it. I don't know if it's good or bad, but my spidey sense is going crazy. I feel jumpier than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs." It was then that I noticed how quiet it was in my kitchen. Usually when I tap on Rex's cage, he rustles around in his bedding looking for treats, or jumps in his wheel for a little run while I talk, but today I didn't hear any movement. I slammed the door of my fridge closed and raced to his cage.

"Rex?" my voice was whisper quiet and more than a little shaky. Rex has been my baby for a very long time, and I don't know what I'd do without him. Carefully, I lifted the lid of his aquarium and picked up his soup can. I let out the breath that I didn't know I was holding when I didn't find him inside.

I dropped to the floor and tried to see if he was behind the fridge, but couldn't see anything but dust bunnies. When I stood up I froze, instantly knowing that I was no longer alone in my kitchen. At the same time I registered that magical combination of Bvlgari and Ranger, I heard his voice saying, "He's not here, Babe."

I wiped the tears from my eyes with shaking hands and turned to see Ranger, leaning against the doorframe. He looked like he had lost a little weight and a lot of sleep, but he was here and he was real. I ran to him and jumped into his arms, wrapping my entire body around him.

He held me as tight as I was holding him, breathing in my shampoo as I inhaled his scent. We stayed like that for a long time, neither of us willing to let go. Finally, I pulled back enough to move his hair off of his forehead and look into his eyes. Gathering my courage I told him, "I missed you."

He tucked a curl behind my ear and kissed me softly as he carried me to the bedroom. "I missed you too, Babe."

I didn't want to be distracted by naked Ranger, so I grabbed onto the doorframe to stop us. He arched an eyebrow in question. Swallowing, I said, "I know your life doesn't lend itself to relationships, and there are times that you have to go into the wind with no explanations, I get that. I want you to know that if you wanted to, when you came home, you could come home to me." I was totally screwing this up, but I couldn't think of the right way to say what I was trying to say.

Since he was supporting all my weight, he turned and leaned his back against the doorframe. That put us into such intimate contact that I think I blacked out for a second. Ranger's breath started coming in a harsh pant, and I don't think it was because of my weight. I had to get this out quickly, or it was going to be too late. "You see, the thing is, I know your love doesn't come with a ring and I finally realized that I don't need one, I just need you."

He closed his eyes. I couldn't tell if I just ruined everything or if I was going to get everything I need. He said, "You sure about this, Babe?"

I nodded, even if he still couldn't see it. "Yes. Ricardo Carlos Manoso, I love you, and that's all I'll ever need."

The next morning I asked him, "So where exactly is Rex?"

He kissed me on my forehead. "It's a long story, Babe."

I rolled my eyes. "I've got time."

He sighed. We've been together only one night and already he's sighing. That can't be good. "What if I told you that the only trips I will need to make in the future are to the other Rangeman offices?"

I was confused. "But what about your contract?"

He gave me his two hundred watt smile. "As of yesterday, my contract has been fulfilled. I chose not to renew it."

I felt my eyes go wide. "You mean..."

He gave me a squeeze. "I'm ready for someday, Babe, but I thought I might have to convince you that it was time. I figured I'd have a better chance of talking you out of your apartment if Rex was already there waiting for you."

I still wasn't capable of complete sentances. "He's at?"

"The Batcave, Babe. He wants you to see it. There's only one other thing we're going to have to work out first."

"Don't worry, I won't give Grandma Mazur the address."

He barked out a laugh. "That's not what I meant, Babe, but I appreciate it. What I meant was that I wanted to take my fiancee to the Batcave."

I once again lost the power of speech. "Your?"

"Fiancee, Babe." He rolled to the side of the bed and grabbed his pants. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a ring box. Inside was a beautiful emerald cut diamond engagement ring with sapphire side stones in an art deco setting. It looked very old school hollywood and very expensive. "I'm still not sure about kids, Babe, but I know that I want to come home to you. Will you marry me Babe?"

I said the only thing I could. "Yes."

 **A/N Once again I pinned the ring to my pinterest board /spiffytgm/plum-diamond/ It's sort of a clearing house for things rattling around in my head... :)**


	2. Why animals make the best therapists

**I really had intended for this to be a one shot, but I got a couple of requests for a second chapter. The first was from ShellBell78 who asked for Joe's reaction. The second was from Margaret, who really wanted them to get married. I decided to do it in a Joe POV. Of course, that means that it will be rude and there will be foul language, that's just the way I think that Joe thinks.**

 **Week 1**

I sat down on my couch and picked up the remote for the TV. I was immediately joined by my dog Bob, who was probably waiting for me to give him some of my meatball sub. After we both ate, we settled in with a beer for me and watched the game. About halfway through, I started talking to my dog. "What the hell, Bob? Stephanie should be here watching the game with us. I called her, but she's been ignoring me for the last three months."

Bob wisely didn't say anything, so I continued. "We were sitting right here on the couch when she told me that she couldn't do this anymore. Do what? Have a nice meal and fool around? We've been doing that forever. No, she can't keep going back and forth. I told her to move in with me and stop going back. Do you think that she would listen to me? Of course not. She tells me that she owes it to herself to figure out what she really wants. Ha! The only thing that woman really wants is a good shoe sale at Macy's. It doesn't matter, though, she'll be back. Maybe I'll propose when she does. We really need to settle down if we're going to have kids, she ain't getting any younger. Of course, I can't actually say that to her, she'd probably overreact."

Bob lifted his head and looked at me. "Yeah, I know. She's probably heard that I've been seeing other women, but so what? She's the one that dumped me, does she honestly expect me to be celibate?"

After the game, Bob and I went to bed alone. She'll be back, she can't stay away from me forever.

 **Week 2**

I dropped half a meatball sub into Bob's food dish. I didn't really feel much like eating. I sat at the table while Bob made short work of my dinner. "Well, Bob, That asshole came back to Trenton a couple of days ago, and I haven't seen Stephanie since. It really burns my ass how he'll come rolling into town in his Porsche, crook his finger at her, and she goes running to him. Who knows, maybe this time _I_ won't take _her_ back. Let's see how she likes it when I take my sweet-assed time." Bob looked up from his dish. I don't think he was impressed. "Yeah? Well your boys have been in a jar in the Vet's office for years, what do you know about women?"

The truth is, I know Stephanie is the woman for me. I've known it since she was 16 and I nailed her behind the elcair case at the Tasty Pastry. I shouted her name to the rooftops that night. Believe me, acknowledging a woman in print is the ultimate praise from a Morelli man. She was mine, and I wanted everyone to know it.

When I got back from the Navy, she showed me her appreciation by running me over with her father's Buick. You'd think she didn't appreciate the advertisement. You gotta admire her though, she's feisty.

 **Week 3**

I grabbed a beer from my fridge and slammed the door shut. Bob looked up at me from where he was laying in a patch of sunlight. "Son of a bitch, Bob," I said as I opened the bottle and took a long pull. "Stephanie finally showed back up at work today, after she and that bastard holed up together for a week. I swung by the bonds office and stuck my head in just in time to see Lula start jumping up and down and squealing like a pig. She was bouncing so hard that her tits came right out of her top." I shuddered, and Bob dropped his head and closed his eyes. "You're preaching to the choir, Bob, it was horrible. Anyway, they were carrying on about the rock he gave her. You should have seen the size of that thing. I would have to mortgage the house to buy her a diamond that big. I bet you he got some butt stuff when he gave her that."

Stephanie was somewhat adventurous in the bedroom, but she may as well have hung a No Entry sign above the back door. Even when we played Mr & Mrs Rover, you couldn't stick it to her and tell her you slipped. Fuck it. I grabbed another beer. "Just you wait and see, Bob. She'll blow up another of his cars and he'll get tired of her crap. Then I'll be the one getting the butt stuff before I take her back."

 **Week 4**

I was getting ready for my date with Terri and talking to Bob as he laid in the hallway. "I don't think he's going to get rid of her anytime soon, Bob. Her old piece of crap Toyota Corolla blew up yesterday. Today she was driving around in a brand new black Jeep Cherokee that he bought her as an engagement present. Those old busybodies from the neighborhood were practically lined up around the block to make sure I knew. I talked to my friend Ralph at the dealership. He told me that it was a custom order rush job. Armor plated, bullet proof glass, hell, it'll take a direct hit from an RPG (rocket propelled grenade) and keep going. The sad part is that the Burg Grapevine thinks it's romantic. Do you believe that Bob? It's _Romantic_ that he has to buy her an armored vehicle to keep her from blowing his shit up."

I walked downstairs and filled Bob's bowl with kibble. "You behave yourself, Bob, and hopefully I'll see you tomorrow."

 **Week** **5**

"Bob, you would not believe how crazy the gossip gets once the Grapevine is in full swing." I was once again sitting on the couch with Bob, watching the Mets get their asses handed to them. We were both already filled with meatball subs and feeling mellow. "All of those old bats seem to take a perverse amount of pleasure in trying to be the first to bring me new gossip. The funny part is that one of them will tell me that they heard from Mrs. Bestler who heard from Mrs. Plum that Stephanie and Ranger have decided on a long engagement, and the next one will tell me that they heard from Bitsy Durham who heard from Edna Mazur that they are getting married tomorrow. Do they really think I want to hear about her being engaged to that asshole? My mom has been bringing me food again, Bob. I think she's afraid I'm going to sink into an alcohol fuelled depression. She doesn't know Steph like I know her. She'll be back, Bob. She always comes back."

After the game, I picked my way through the room and headed upstairs to bed. There were a lot of pizza boxes and random crap in the living room. Maybe tomorrow I'll let Ma come in and tidy up the place. She loves taking care of me, I'm her baby.

 **Week 6**

I walked downstairs on Saturday morning wearing sweats and carrying Bob's leash. "Come on, Bob, time to go for a jog. All that pizza's going straight to your ass." Bob raced to the door and started jumping in circles. The truth was that I needed the jog. I was feeling like the walls were closing in on me, and I needed to get out.

We were jogging down Chestnut Ave towards Columbus Park. I noticed that the parking lot for the New Hope church was packed solid. I idly wondered if someone was getting shackled or planted when I realized that there was an inordinate number of black SUV's there. "Oh, hell no," I said to Bob. "There is no damn way he got her to agree to get married this soon."

We jogged around the corner to the front of the church. Parked by the doors was an enormous stretch Hummer. That vehicle was so Ranger that I felt like I was going to be sick. I tied Bob to the railing in front of the door and slipped inside. I stood in the vestibule, struck immobile by her beauty. She was wearing a simple, fitted, white mermaid style gown. Her hair was in loose curls framing her face with a veil woven in. The only thing wrong with this picture was the fact that I was in sweatpants at the other end of the church.

The moment was broken when she leaned in and kissed Ranger. I never even heard the priest say "Husband and Wife". All I knew was that I had to stop this from happening. I ran down the aisle yelling, "Cupcake! I object!" Before I could get to the couple, I was stopped by a sea of black. Not willing to be deterred, I shouted, "Cupcake, what the hell is going on here?"

The men parted and she was standing right in front of me. Instead of looking relieved to see me, she looked pissed as hell. "Joe, what are you doing here?"

"You can't be serious about marrying him, cupcake. He's a psycho. You know we're supposed to be together. I thought he might be making you do this against your will."

Ranger's jaw was clenched. He ground out, "Morelli, you're entitled to your opinion, but this is my wedding. Do not upset my wife."

"Your wife? She's mine. She's always been mine, and she'll always be mine."

Stephanie treated me to the Burg death glare. "Joe, I am in love with Ranger. You and I broke up. I told you that I was done wasting my life going back and forth. I don't belong to you."

I snorted. "And you think he's going to treat you right? Good luck with that. Don't come crawling back to me when he gets bored with you and passes you off to one of these losers."

o0()0o

I bolted upright and looked around. I wasn't in a church, I was in bed, but it was too dark to see. That was some dream, though. I could still feel the searing pain from where Ranger punched me in the jaw. I reached for my nightstand to turn on the light and look around for Bob. I realized that something was wrong when I almost fell off the bed. My nightstand wasn't where it was supposed to be. Where the hell was I?

The door to my room opened and a woman turned on a single light. "Oh good, you're awake, Mr Morelli, we were starting to worry about you." What the hell? She was dressed like a nurse. I looked around in the dim light and realized that I was in a hospital room. I reached up and touched the thick dressing on my face. The nurse took my hand and lowered it. "Please be careful, Mr Morelli, your jaw had to be wired shut." She started to ramble on about what I could and couldn't do, but I wasn't listening. It was real. The whole thing was real.

I closed my eyes and willed myself back to sleep. In my dream I was back on the couch watching the game with Bob. I rubbed his head and sadly said, "It looks like it's just you and me, Bob."

Maybe it was the pain meds and maybe it was the fact that I now knew this was a dream, but I swear Bob rolled his eyes before dropping his head back on his paws and muttered, "Dumbass."

 **A/N - When I wrote the wedding scene out, I was picturing it as kind of Shrek meets The Graduate (You know, an Ogre who gets to the wedding after the ceremony is already over) Unfortunately for Joe and unlike both of those movies, he didn't get the girl... Too bad, so sad...**


	3. The not literal definition of Schmaltz

**Once again I was presented with a request, this one from Emelie Martel (BTW, I love Em & M) to do one more chapter, this one in Ranger's POV... The problem? He doesn't have a pet. (and his gun doesn't count.) Hope I did it justice...**

 **The lyrics in italics are from the song Creep by Radiohead. There is a wonderful acoustic version of it pinned to my pinterest board /spiffytgm/plum-diamond. Autumn has a beautiful voice and deserves a listen...**

 **Month 1**

The darkest part of the night is where I've spent most of my life, but things are different now. I look forward to this time, because the quiet is soothing. I hold her in my arms and dance around the bedroom, my voice the only thing breaking the silence.

 _"You're just like an angel_  
 _Your skin makes me cry_  
 _You float like a feather_  
 _In a beautiful world_  
 _And I wish I was special_  
 _You're so very special_  
 _But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo_  
 _What the hell am I doing here?_  
 _I don't belong here."_

I close my eyes and think about the journey I took to get to this moment. I try to tell her without words the hell I went through on my last mission. If it were not for the miracle of Stephanie Plum, I would not be here. I know all the way to my soul that I would not have made it out alive if I wasn't doing everything in my power to get to her.

She looks in my eyes and I know without words that I have been granted absolution. I now have the gift of unconditional love, and I am going to hold on to it forever.

 **Month 2**

We've spent this quiet part of the night dancing to different songs, but Creep seems to be our favorite. I have no doubt that this song is written about me.

 _I don't care if it hurts,_  
 _I want to have control,_  
 _I want a perfect body,_  
 _I want a perfect soul,_  
 _I want you to notice,_  
 _When I'm not around,_  
 _You're so very special,_  
 _I wish I was special._  
 _But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo,_  
 _What the hell am I doing here?_  
 _I don't belong here._

Today I think about the day I got home. I worked out an elaborate plan to get Stephanie to agree to give our Someday a try. I should have remembered that no plan goes the way it should when it comes to her. I remember the way she launched herself into my arms and wrapped herself around me. All I could do was hold her and breathe in her strawberry shampoo. For the first time in months, I felt alive. When she agreed to marry me, I was determined to move heaven and hell to make it happen as soon as possible.

 **Month 3**

Learning to live with each other was a series of compromises. I will admit that I am very set in my ways and expect my orders to be carried out without question. Stephanie questions everything, and if she thinks you're trying to make her do something, she will always do the exact opposite. Stephanie likes to tell me that her biggest surprise was the fact that I never once suggested that she quit her job as a bounty hunter, but I would never stand in the way of her doing something she loved. I guess you could say that I learned to talk, and she learned to listen, but it wasn't easy.

 _She's running out again,_  
 _She's running out..._  
 _She run run run run..._  
 _Run..._  
 _Whatever makes you happy,_  
 _Whatever you want,_  
 _You're so very special,_  
 _I wish I was special..._  
 _But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo,_  
 _What the hell am I doing here?_  
 _I don't belong here,_  
 _I don't belong here._

The thing that I found to be the most remarkable was her determination to make our relationship work. I remember when her last car blew up. In the past, I would buy her a car and tell her it was a loaner, and she would drive it for a week until she could afford to buy her own piece of crap. She always gave me back the cars because she didn't want to be indebted to me, and if I tried to make her keep them, she would fight me tooth and nail. When her Corolla blew, I sat her down in my office and explained that I wanted to give her a car. I explained to her that I wanted to keep her safe so that we could have as many years together as possible. To my surprise, she agreed. She told me later that it was only because I explained my reasoning to her that she didn't argue. That was when I knew for sure that we were going to make it.

 **Month 4**

Tonight as we danced around the room, I remember the day Stephanie and I got married. The biggest surprise in planning the wedding turned out to be the ally I found in Helen Plum. Stephanie was all for flying to Vegas and getting married by an Elvis impersonator, but I didn't want her to have any regrets about this. Her mother called her church and found us an open date, although I think she bullied the pastor into working us in, and used her grapevine contacts to find out what reception hall would be open for the party later. Best of all, she did it without setting the gossip world on fire with news of the upcoming marriage.

Surrounded by family and friends, the ceremony was everything I could hope for and Stephanie looked beautiful. Morelli tried to bust in and stop the ceremony, but even that worked out when I got the opportunity to break his jaw. I've always said that I'm an opportunist.

 **Month 5**

Tonight we danced while I remembered the Honeymoon Stephanie and I went on. The stretch Hummer drove us from the reception straight to the airport. The car itself was completely over the top with long, curved purple leather bench seats and green neon lighting, but Stephanie loved it. We made good use of the full bar and turned the stereo system up so that we could have some privacy. Peeling the wedding dress off my wife and making love to her for the first time in the back of a gaudy stretch Hummer was the closest thing to a religious experience I'll ever have. When we exited the car after the hour and a half drive, I sent a text message to Tank, "Find out if this Limo is for sale and buy it!"

We stayed at the Beach Villa of the Taveuni Palms Resort in Fiji. For a month nothing existed except the two of us. We spent our time horseback riding, pearl diving, exploring coral reefs, and making love. We explored each other as much if not more than we explored the island, and danced in the sand of our private beach. I would have gladly spent the rest of our lives there.

 **Month 6**

Tonight she wouldn't stop crying, so I kissed her beautiful crystal tears as we danced around the room. Even my soft singing failed to soothe her like it normally does.

 _You're so very special_  
 _I wish I was special_  
 _But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo_  
 _What the hell am I doing here?_  
 _I don't belong here_  
 _I don't belong here_

I was counting my many blessings when a movement caught my eye. I looked up to see Stephanie leaning against the door frame, smiling at us as we danced. I looked at her and smiled. "Babe."

She walked into the room and kissed me gently. "I knew I heard someone fussing. I thought she was sleeping through the night."

I looked down at our daughter, who had calmed the instant she heard her mother's voice and was starting to fall asleep. "Usually she sleeps right through. It's me who needs to spend this time with her." Since she was asleep again, I laid her gently back in her crib and took her mother into my arms. Stephanie laid her head on my shoulder and I inhaled the scent of her strawberry shampoo. As we began to dance, I opened up to her. "I missed all of this with Julie. I never realized how precious it was."

Stephanie didn't say anything to me, but she didn't need to. I accepted the love and support she poured into me as we danced around the room. I started to sing a new song for her. The song we danced to on our wedding day.

 _ **Wise men say only fools rush in**_  
 _ **but I can't help falling in love with you**_  
 _ **Shall I stay?**_  
 _ **Would it be a sin**_  
 _ **If I can't help falling in love with you**_  
 _ **Like a river flows surely to the sea**_  
 _ **darling so it goes, some things were meant to be**_  
 _ **Take my hand, take my whole life too**_  
 _ **for I can't help falling in love with you**_

 **A/N - The song at the end is, of course, Can't Help Falling in Love by Elvis Presley. BTW, the Definition of Schmaltz...** **www dot merriam-webster dot com/dictionary/schmaltz**


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